"At the beginning of 2010 I came across my diary from last year. I had a quick flick through and was hit with the realisation of exactly how much my life has changed since January ’09. My diary is littered with words like ‘Golden Globes’, ‘Baftas’, ‘Brits’ and ‘The Oscars’ – all of which my working life revolved around...

Fast forward a year and my January is barren. The pages are a wasteland of days and dates and woefully empty pages. My poor, poor moleskin must have been sobbing into its perfectly intact spine at such a pitiful sight..."

Thursday, 6 May 2010

What's In A Name?

Kaila-Rose Coral Colombus currently has nicknames a-plenty: Babysaurus Rex, Little Lady Norks-a-Lot, Trumpet Bum, Monkey Bum, Splodge, Midget, Moon Pig, Squishfest, Tiny Dancer, Gypsy-Rose and Kiki, to name but a few.

But her first ever nickname comes to mind today…

On this day last year I thought I was going to lose my baby. I was nervous. I didn’t know what was going on. The receptionist at the doctors told me there were no appointments, and I started to cry. When I told her what was happening she called a doctor who was on her lunch break. The doc saw me, gave me a reference to the Royal Free, and told me to get there immediately. Anyone who’s ever been to the Free knows how much ‘immediately’ can turn into three hours, but within 20 minutes I was being seen by a midwife. On the drive there I tuned into three different radio stations, all of which were playing Pink’s Please Don’t Leave Me. I sang along with tears burning my cheeks and a pain in my heart that I’d never felt before.

That was my first pregnancy scan, and the first time I really realised I was going to be a mother. When, after what seemed like an age, but in reality was only a couple of minutes, I was told there was a heartbeat in my belly, I burst into fresh tears. A whole new world of indescribable feelings swept over me – relief, thankfulness, protectiveness, sureness and love. I looked up at the screen, saw a tiny round blob, and called her Peanut.

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