"At the beginning of 2010 I came across my diary from last year. I had a quick flick through and was hit with the realisation of exactly how much my life has changed since January ’09. My diary is littered with words like ‘Golden Globes’, ‘Baftas’, ‘Brits’ and ‘The Oscars’ – all of which my working life revolved around...

Fast forward a year and my January is barren. The pages are a wasteland of days and dates and woefully empty pages. My poor, poor moleskin must have been sobbing into its perfectly intact spine at such a pitiful sight..."

Monday, 22 November 2010

The Reformation Act

I remember the weeks of November in 2009 as a blur of midwife visits, trips to the breastfeeding clinic and being utterly unable to be left alone. One evening when The Kiwi threatened to attend a meeting, my hysteria was such that he had to cancel. Hormonal overload like never before.

In my 2010 Moleskine the biro inkings are taking their first tentative steps into a re-found social life and a re-formed sense of identity. I never actually went to anything while Kaila-Rose was settling into nursery, but there are press nights, shopping events and evenings with friends, written in alongside big, scribbly question marks. Which says much about my state of mind when I first went back to work.

Friday, 12 November 2010

Picture Perfect

I still remember the feeling when I set off for hospital the morning my induction was booked. I felt like I was going on holiday, it was exciting, it was unknown. I remember the ensuing mayhem of four days swerving in and out of labour as the inductions didn't quite kick in as they should, and the drama of the day that Kaila-Rose was born.

I remember the smell of her breath after she fed, her warm face fitting into the nook of my shouder and the first time she looked at me with her little blue eyes.

All of the gruesome stuff I've forgotten - my brain and my hormones have done me a real turn there.

I remember so much from that first year, some things that I can describe, some that I can't. Most were fascinating only to the Kiwi and I and no-one else. How endlessly we discussed napping, feeding and sleeping; how hysterical we found her first spring in the bouncer; how moved to tears by her first smile; how proud of her first step. Stuff that would bore the sh!t out of almost everyone else. Stuff that people only find amazing, joyful and hilarious when it's their own kid.

But I wanted to keep a record, a reminder of these precious memories. So, I put together a book called Kaila-Rose's First Year on www.photobox.co.uk. Painstaking work it was too - I scoured every pic, from The Kiwi's professional photographs to the snaps taken on my mobile phone. You can design the pages to have up to 9 images on each in a grid format for the bad quality ones (taken for the most part by yours truly), then the better images can fill a whole page.

It's a pretty perfect picture book if you ask me.

One Year Old

On this day last year:

12 November this year:

Tuesday, 9 November 2010

Pause. Rewind.

Monday November 9, 2010: Induction booked at the Royal Free Hospital, Hampstead (overnight bag packed, new pyjamas bought, newborn outfit ready to rock).

Monday November 8 2011: Settling in at Hedon Day Nursery (Kaila-Rose has her own rucksack and a new pair of shoes).

Friday, 5 November 2010

Back To Work

This time last year I was off work and loving it. After a particularly hair-raising overnight stay at the Royal Free, I was advised complete bed rest. So, I took up knitting and watching daytime TV and was so overloaded with some kind of pregnancy chillax hormone that I positively basked in it. I knitted all day, and watched movies in the evening. Except I don’t think I ever saw the end of a film as I fell asleep every night at 8.30pm. Bliss.

This week, I’ve been back at work. And I have really enjoyed it. OK, so I might shed a little terry as I head off every morning, but getting back into the office and being invited to the Harry Potter Premiere, the Xmas launch at Harvey Nics and an on-set visit and interview with Will Young has all been quite fun. I know in the early days of Babydom I thought I’d never want to return to this, but to do it 3 days a week will be orright, I rex.